Pinkies Are Useless

My pinkies are useless.

My pinkie is the most useless piece of my body that ever existed. I don't use it for anything. 

I don't use it when I click my backspace button. In fact I don't use it for typing at all.

When I drink from a cup with a handle it just kinda hangs out on the side. 

It puts little to no effort when I am grabbing something.

When I want to put my pinkie finger down, it has the balls to bring the third finger down with it.

It never wants to pop when I am popping all my fingers.

I use my middle finger more than I use my pinkie.

My pinkie is mangled into a weird shape. (apparently runs in my family?)

I typed this sentence using my pinkies. It feels weird.

It doesn't help me write with a pen or pencil.

I don't use it when I am catching a ball.

If I played the piano I would probably use it more... or any musical instrument in that case.

All my other fingers, (besides my thumb) can reach farther than it.

Why do we have pinkies? why do they exist?

I don't know, but they do. So they must be pretty dang important.

You...

You are the one .
You are the one that kept my head straight. You never let me roll around in stupidity like a hog.
You are the one that kept me from going with the flow, like floating down the river as a log.
You are the one that helped me stay up late to post to my blog.
You are the one that washed away my writers block, the one that cleared the fog.
My dear...
My dear...
Egg Nog.

10 Things That You Gals Don't Know About Us Dudes

Alright, first off. Apparently us dudes confuse you gals just as much as you to us. So let me clear this up a little.

1. The number one thing girls don't understand about guys is that guys don't understand girls. Most of the things on this list will be directly from this one.

2. Masculinity is important. If one man thinks he is manlier than me, I would be willing to do most anything to prove him wrong.

3. You might as well give up once testosterone kicks in. There is no use trying to convince us not to do dumb things if testosterone is in play. No use.

4. We forget things. Mostly important things. Us men... We tend to block out important things because it gives us stress. At least that's how it is in my case.

5. We don't understand why chocolate doesn't work 100% of the time. I once saw a picture that said if comforting doesn't work, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate. I would like to add that you are probably screwed if the chocolate doesn't work.

6. We don't like emotions. Girls always say they like a man who shows emotions. Guys always say to man up. Girls who say they like a guy who shows emotions are making him pick a side. Stop it.

7. We only act stupid. Half the time. At least I do...

8. If you are in a relationship with a guy, and he looks at another girl, don't be offended. This bugs me quite a bit. If a guy is looking at another girl, he thinks she is attractive. There is nothing wrong with this. Just think of how after he still wants to stay with you afterwards. However if he decides to leave you for them, I give you exclusive permission to be offended.

Look at me giving dating advice.

9. We make sound effects. Every guy does it...

10. We zone out. A lot. This was a really problem for me in sophomore year. I've found that my head is most comfortable in 1 position. So when I would zone out, it would naturally go to that position. However, It was probably creepy for the person who would always be on the other end, every single time.

Death of Creative Writing

I just spent the last half hour raging myself up for this by playing flappy bird...

And I am dang pissed.

I ain't talkin' 'bout no creative writing in general. I'm talkin' 'bout the Lone Peak Freaking Creative Writing Class. You have taken our freedom away. Only 1 post per week? Freak Nelson! I'm a freaking tourist, and I ain't gonna write more than I freaking have to. Why the freak did you think it would be a good idea to assign one post on a topic predetermined. Everyone's posts are going to be the same (besides all the people who decide to do more than required. I'm talking to you, residents). Variety will freaking be over. There won't be any ideas to freaking steal. Freak man, why don't you just assign 1 post per week, and let's freaking watch the office all day everyday.

Cause freak man...

Freak...

In reality though, I don't want you to change anything. Cause there will be some students who will be like "who the freak made this change happen! I wanna freakin murder them!" And you'll be like, just wait until he reveals his pen name! Dang that would be scary as heck.

And Nelson, I'm sorry if you took this personally. I just need to freaking rage at something.